Last night's Vigilantes game was so much fun. It was my first experience at an arena football game, and I loved it. I arrived early for sound check and enjoyed watching the players warm up (love those tight football pants). I ran through the National Anthem and then had a bite to eat in the media lounge (fantastic pot roast)!!
My date, Dilan, arrived just before the game started, so he didn't miss my Anthem - hooray! I got to hang with Ruthie and Naomi from Dallas Bridal Shows before the game, right next to the field. I was happy they arrived early enough to be my pre-game "dates." Before they arrived, I kept myself occupied with Words With Friends.
Everyone affiliated with the team was amazing - friendly and fun. American Airlines Center was teeming with energy and excitement. Arena football blends the toughness of football with the spirit of hockey and the pace of basketball - nice combo in my book! The fans were hilarious - we had amazing seats on the 25 yard line (there are only 50 yards in arena football) - and we were second row. The guys in the front row were off the hook - yelling at the players on the other team, calling them "McFatty," for instance - and yelling at the refs. Hilarious! I was happy we were in the second row because the players get slammed into the sides of the arena quite frequently, and the front row really feels it!
Dilan was a great date - he is a go with the flow guy. He brought me a Bud Light (that always scores points), and he hung out with the entire group from the CW33 and Dallas Bridal Shows. During the first quarter, Chandler (the Vigilantes Jumbotron host) interviewed me about Project Husband. Chandler was hilarious, and again, Dilan was a good sport. I introduced Dilan as a candidate, and Chandler asked Dilan whether he'd be ready to get married in February. Dilan said - "I didn't hear the question." The guys in front of us gave him a hard time saying they all heard the question! Dilan swore he didn't, but either way, it was well played. I had a lot of fun during the interview with Chandler.
It was a great night, and I was thrilled to be wearing a Zac Posen dress, provided by TOOTSIES. Special thanks to the boutique and my stylist for hooking it up!! I felt great....had a blast singing the Anthem....enjoyed the game (and the company), and I hope to catch the Vigilantes again soon. There's only one home game remaining, but there's always next year!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Couples yoga date
Yesterday was a super fun couples yoga date at Super Yoga Palace in Deep Ellum. Shana Stein hooked me up not only with the yoga but also the date. Pat is a great guy - a creative soul with positive energy. For our first date, we had a couples date session. We both thought we'd be guided through poses individually, but we were involved in a lot of closeness and touching in yoga moves designed for two. We had to communicate not only with our minds but also our bodies. We had to trust each other and rely on each other for strength. What a great endurance and tenacity test for any couple!
I recommend it! As Pat said, couples yoga probably is better for a second date, but hey - why not get right to some innocent touching?! I love trying new things and getting thrown into new experiences. It's also fun to share a new experience with someone else. Pat was a great date, and he said he'd like to hang out again....I'm looking forward to it.
The other great part about the yoga date was uncovering a gem in Deep Ellum. Super Yoga Palace is tucked away on Taylor Street, and it shares space with a glorious performance room and hip coffee shop, Mokah Coffee Bar.
Incidentally, last night, after the yoga date, I had a late dinner with a successful physician....we were set up by the ladies at No Excuses. I'm fairly certain the doctor and I will have another date. He is worldly, attractive, fit, fun and interesting....he has some promise as a potential mate.
Many people lately have told me they are having "bad luck" at dating - they just don't date in this city - their timing is bad....and I say - get out there, and go for it! What's the worst that can happen? You make a new friend, try something new, learn something about yourself...
I recommend it! As Pat said, couples yoga probably is better for a second date, but hey - why not get right to some innocent touching?! I love trying new things and getting thrown into new experiences. It's also fun to share a new experience with someone else. Pat was a great date, and he said he'd like to hang out again....I'm looking forward to it.
The other great part about the yoga date was uncovering a gem in Deep Ellum. Super Yoga Palace is tucked away on Taylor Street, and it shares space with a glorious performance room and hip coffee shop, Mokah Coffee Bar.
Incidentally, last night, after the yoga date, I had a late dinner with a successful physician....we were set up by the ladies at No Excuses. I'm fairly certain the doctor and I will have another date. He is worldly, attractive, fit, fun and interesting....he has some promise as a potential mate.
Many people lately have told me they are having "bad luck" at dating - they just don't date in this city - their timing is bad....and I say - get out there, and go for it! What's the worst that can happen? You make a new friend, try something new, learn something about yourself...
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Marriage
Why do so many people fear marriage? Well, it's fear that holds us back, isn't it? The fear of failure, the fear of being rejected, the fear of being unloved. Is it possible that the things we fear the most are the most worthwhile?
I was scared of marriage for a long time. My parents divorced when I was in college, and it was devastating. The last thing I wanted to do was have a family and then tear it apart - the pain was just too deep, too tumultuous. I have a Master of Social Work degree from UCLA, along with a social work license in Texas. While studying for my licensing exam, I learned that adult children who endure divorce take, on average, 10 years to process it and heal from it. I'd say that was about right for me. I pushed so many guys away and had such terrible boundaries with them because I didn't really want to fall, I didn't want to risk the loss of love. This was subconscious, but I can see it clearly now. I made poor choices in men - but I learned from it. I'm not feeling regret - I'm feeling liberation. I'm finally free from the pain and shackles of the fear of love. I know love is possible for all of us - regardless of where we come from, what we've endured, what we've feared.
I feel like my generation has been running from marriage. And, I agree, the institution is imperfect. But it does exist, and it's cool for people who want it. For those who don't, there's beauty in the power of a choice. I love choices. I always liked multiple choice questions because of the finality in making a decision and being correct. However, I learned to embrace open-ended questions in college because I could get points for what I did know versus getting dinged for what I didn't know. In relationships, there are open-ended questions. Love is not a multiple choice test. It's all about options and thoughts and being rewarded for what you know. Marriage can be rewarding when you know your heart and you find another heart that aligns with yours. My quest is not about finding the one who completes me. I loved Jerry Maguire, but I don't want someone who completes me.
One of my favorite books is the Celestine Prophecy. The discussion I love most is regarding two complete souls aligning with each other. The insecure relationship (which leads to most divorce, I would argue), has to do with two incomplete circles coming together to make one circle. The most powerful and lasting bond involves two complete circles that join together like Olympic rings. The ideal union involves two individuals who are happy on their own but enhanced by each other. I'm not in my twenties anymore. I've grown up, and I know who I am. I embrace the tapestry of my life's experiences (good and bad) because the combination makes me the unique individual I am today. I believe there is someone for everyone out there.....and there is more than one potential soulmate for each person.
Some may argue that marriage is not necessary today - and I don't disagree. It's a choice! And I want it - I want the commitment, the legally binding contract and the vows that go along with it. I want to be married before God, and I want to have two children and love their father until death do us part. :) Some may say that my odds are 50% that it will end in divorce, but I would argue that the glass is half full not half empty. And the risk is worth the reward....
I was scared of marriage for a long time. My parents divorced when I was in college, and it was devastating. The last thing I wanted to do was have a family and then tear it apart - the pain was just too deep, too tumultuous. I have a Master of Social Work degree from UCLA, along with a social work license in Texas. While studying for my licensing exam, I learned that adult children who endure divorce take, on average, 10 years to process it and heal from it. I'd say that was about right for me. I pushed so many guys away and had such terrible boundaries with them because I didn't really want to fall, I didn't want to risk the loss of love. This was subconscious, but I can see it clearly now. I made poor choices in men - but I learned from it. I'm not feeling regret - I'm feeling liberation. I'm finally free from the pain and shackles of the fear of love. I know love is possible for all of us - regardless of where we come from, what we've endured, what we've feared.
I feel like my generation has been running from marriage. And, I agree, the institution is imperfect. But it does exist, and it's cool for people who want it. For those who don't, there's beauty in the power of a choice. I love choices. I always liked multiple choice questions because of the finality in making a decision and being correct. However, I learned to embrace open-ended questions in college because I could get points for what I did know versus getting dinged for what I didn't know. In relationships, there are open-ended questions. Love is not a multiple choice test. It's all about options and thoughts and being rewarded for what you know. Marriage can be rewarding when you know your heart and you find another heart that aligns with yours. My quest is not about finding the one who completes me. I loved Jerry Maguire, but I don't want someone who completes me.
One of my favorite books is the Celestine Prophecy. The discussion I love most is regarding two complete souls aligning with each other. The insecure relationship (which leads to most divorce, I would argue), has to do with two incomplete circles coming together to make one circle. The most powerful and lasting bond involves two complete circles that join together like Olympic rings. The ideal union involves two individuals who are happy on their own but enhanced by each other. I'm not in my twenties anymore. I've grown up, and I know who I am. I embrace the tapestry of my life's experiences (good and bad) because the combination makes me the unique individual I am today. I believe there is someone for everyone out there.....and there is more than one potential soulmate for each person.
Some may argue that marriage is not necessary today - and I don't disagree. It's a choice! And I want it - I want the commitment, the legally binding contract and the vows that go along with it. I want to be married before God, and I want to have two children and love their father until death do us part. :) Some may say that my odds are 50% that it will end in divorce, but I would argue that the glass is half full not half empty. And the risk is worth the reward....
Monday, June 28, 2010
Nearly stood up...
I've been stood up once in my life - it happened a few months ago, actually. I still haven't heard from the guy as to why he was a no show. And, today, my lunch date nearly stood me up. But, I communicated with him and learned that he was tied up with work. Hmmmmm. I had to reach out, however. We had plans to meet up around 1pm. 1pm came and went, and he was incommunicado.
Part of me wants to say, I'm done...but we were set up by a mutual friend, and we have chemistry. And, I do know his focus in on work right now. Do I fit into that picture? I think I could....is it worth fighting for? Well, I will give him this one time as a freebie, but I certainly don't want to put up with it on a continual basis.
Last night was an amazing night at HOB for Chick Singer Night. We had an incredible group of singers and, of course, the house band was smokin' - those guys are incredible players. A cute guy I met recently online showed up....and he met my wedding coordinator. He had no idea about Project Husband, but he does now! Also, David showed up, which was nice, since he flew to Spain this morning and will be gone until the 10th. I'm glad I got to see him before he left, and he helped me carry the Chick Singer Night merch home....it's nice to have a strong man around....
My dad brought a date from Houston, who happens to be an amazing chick singer. It was her first time on the stage in 8 years. I got on stage and sang a song with her, and it was so much fun! Go Dad! Unfortunately, however, my dad received news this morning that he has a spinal cord infection, which occurred when he had surgery last month. It explains why he has been in so much pain lately. But, it means that he is in the hospital in Houston for treatment. I am praying that everything goes well.
Part of me wants to say, I'm done...but we were set up by a mutual friend, and we have chemistry. And, I do know his focus in on work right now. Do I fit into that picture? I think I could....is it worth fighting for? Well, I will give him this one time as a freebie, but I certainly don't want to put up with it on a continual basis.
Last night was an amazing night at HOB for Chick Singer Night. We had an incredible group of singers and, of course, the house band was smokin' - those guys are incredible players. A cute guy I met recently online showed up....and he met my wedding coordinator. He had no idea about Project Husband, but he does now! Also, David showed up, which was nice, since he flew to Spain this morning and will be gone until the 10th. I'm glad I got to see him before he left, and he helped me carry the Chick Singer Night merch home....it's nice to have a strong man around....
My dad brought a date from Houston, who happens to be an amazing chick singer. It was her first time on the stage in 8 years. I got on stage and sang a song with her, and it was so much fun! Go Dad! Unfortunately, however, my dad received news this morning that he has a spinal cord infection, which occurred when he had surgery last month. It explains why he has been in so much pain lately. But, it means that he is in the hospital in Houston for treatment. I am praying that everything goes well.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Accuracy vs. flair
Last night, I took 3rd place in a Guitar Hero contest at LaGrange in Deep Ellum. I was not the best technical player, but for what I lacked in substance I recovered with flair. I used to think that accuracy was everything - that I had to be perfect. That was before I truly embraced my life as an artist. Today, I see that flair is important in all we do....from dating, to living to accepting others...
It's not about perfection, it's about progress. And it felt so good to rock the stage Guitar Hero style to Only Happy When It Rains by Garbage. I felt empowered, and I had fun! My attitude and energy came across to the judges, and in 3rd place, I took home an Xbox Elite.
Now I'm learning to embrace my imperfections - and to embrace imperfections in others. In dating, isn't it easy to dismiss someone because he's imperfect? He is too big, too small, doesn't make enough money, late to appointments, has bad days...but aren't we all of those things at some point in our lives....? Is there a perfect partner? Not really....there's someone out there for each of us - a nearly perfect match - but there is no perfect human being.
So, I'm looking for flair! If the guy lives his life to the fullest, approaches his days with zest and flair, smiles even when it rains, sees the positive in others (especially in me)....he could be a keeper. The spark - joie de vivre - is so much more important than perfection is....
It's not about perfection, it's about progress. And it felt so good to rock the stage Guitar Hero style to Only Happy When It Rains by Garbage. I felt empowered, and I had fun! My attitude and energy came across to the judges, and in 3rd place, I took home an Xbox Elite.
Now I'm learning to embrace my imperfections - and to embrace imperfections in others. In dating, isn't it easy to dismiss someone because he's imperfect? He is too big, too small, doesn't make enough money, late to appointments, has bad days...but aren't we all of those things at some point in our lives....? Is there a perfect partner? Not really....there's someone out there for each of us - a nearly perfect match - but there is no perfect human being.
So, I'm looking for flair! If the guy lives his life to the fullest, approaches his days with zest and flair, smiles even when it rains, sees the positive in others (especially in me)....he could be a keeper. The spark - joie de vivre - is so much more important than perfection is....
Friday, June 25, 2010
3 dates yesterday
Yesterday, I broke a personal record - I had 3 dates in one day - lunch, drinks and dinner...
It was fun, and I'm exhausted today as a result!!
A friend in my building called me a "baller." Another one said - she loves the fact that I'm dating so much - she said it's great to have a woman match some of the men she knows.....men who date like crazy......ladies - try it!! Someone told me today that she'd break into hives if she were in my shoes. The thought of dating makes her skin crawl. She also asked me - what if you do get married and then you're stuck with a guy you can't stand?! Well, isn't that the risk anyone takes when getting married? And, isn't the risk worth the reward? I've lived alone my entire life - why shouldn't I experience companionship and love in my home? The same woman who asked me this question admitted that the last man she lived with was a nightmare. She has sworn off all men. I have felt that way in the past - I would say things like, "Men are jerks." or "Men suck." or "I hate men." But, you know what, I really hated myself! It's not solely a man's fault that I've had a bad relationship. It's not a man's fault that I've felt insecure. It's my fault. I let men treat me in a way that was less than desirable. I didn't love myself enough to create boundaries and to allow men to treat me well. And the men who treated me poorly didn't love themselves enough either. It takes 2 to tango and 2 to make a thing go right and 2 to make it bad!
Today, I love myself. I take care of myself. I'm not perfect - sometimes I eat too much, sometimes I drink too much, sometimes I say a lot of bad words. But, I am human! And I know my limitations. A wise man once said - all things in moderation, even moderation. Thus, it can be appropriate to push limits, to cross boundaries and to have fun!
I have found that by loving myself and putting myself first, others show me more respect. Something you may not know about me is that I recently lost a lot of weight. Upon turning 35, I didn't want to feel fat anymore. I had put on so much weight, that I didn't see how I was going to get out of it. I had masked pain and misery (from a tragic accident in my family and job loss) with food and drink, and my body was showing it. When I was turning 35, I thought, "I can't control the number of years in my age, but I can control the number on the scale." I lost 50 pounds before I turned 35. And I work hard each day to keep it off!
The change in the way I view myself has been immense - and the change in the way I allow others to treat me (especially men) has changed, as well. I'm not saying that being thin is the end all be all...it doesn't change the soul or character of a person. But, it does feel better...!!!
In conclusion, there is no conclusion, really....but there is food for thought. And, I try to think now more than I eat. Food is fuel, but deep thoughts are like butter. I encourage everyone to date! Even if you're married, take your spouse on a date!! Appreciate each other, love yourself and allow others to treat you the way you want to be treated. Self-love goes a long way....and if your mind is in the gutter, you will see more than one meaning of self-love.
xoxo
It was fun, and I'm exhausted today as a result!!
A friend in my building called me a "baller." Another one said - she loves the fact that I'm dating so much - she said it's great to have a woman match some of the men she knows.....men who date like crazy......ladies - try it!! Someone told me today that she'd break into hives if she were in my shoes. The thought of dating makes her skin crawl. She also asked me - what if you do get married and then you're stuck with a guy you can't stand?! Well, isn't that the risk anyone takes when getting married? And, isn't the risk worth the reward? I've lived alone my entire life - why shouldn't I experience companionship and love in my home? The same woman who asked me this question admitted that the last man she lived with was a nightmare. She has sworn off all men. I have felt that way in the past - I would say things like, "Men are jerks." or "Men suck." or "I hate men." But, you know what, I really hated myself! It's not solely a man's fault that I've had a bad relationship. It's not a man's fault that I've felt insecure. It's my fault. I let men treat me in a way that was less than desirable. I didn't love myself enough to create boundaries and to allow men to treat me well. And the men who treated me poorly didn't love themselves enough either. It takes 2 to tango and 2 to make a thing go right and 2 to make it bad!
Today, I love myself. I take care of myself. I'm not perfect - sometimes I eat too much, sometimes I drink too much, sometimes I say a lot of bad words. But, I am human! And I know my limitations. A wise man once said - all things in moderation, even moderation. Thus, it can be appropriate to push limits, to cross boundaries and to have fun!
I have found that by loving myself and putting myself first, others show me more respect. Something you may not know about me is that I recently lost a lot of weight. Upon turning 35, I didn't want to feel fat anymore. I had put on so much weight, that I didn't see how I was going to get out of it. I had masked pain and misery (from a tragic accident in my family and job loss) with food and drink, and my body was showing it. When I was turning 35, I thought, "I can't control the number of years in my age, but I can control the number on the scale." I lost 50 pounds before I turned 35. And I work hard each day to keep it off!
The change in the way I view myself has been immense - and the change in the way I allow others to treat me (especially men) has changed, as well. I'm not saying that being thin is the end all be all...it doesn't change the soul or character of a person. But, it does feel better...!!!
In conclusion, there is no conclusion, really....but there is food for thought. And, I try to think now more than I eat. Food is fuel, but deep thoughts are like butter. I encourage everyone to date! Even if you're married, take your spouse on a date!! Appreciate each other, love yourself and allow others to treat you the way you want to be treated. Self-love goes a long way....and if your mind is in the gutter, you will see more than one meaning of self-love.
xoxo
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Risk and dating
No risk, no reward, right?! Sometimes I question myself - in performing, in this project, in life....but I have learned that life is short - and it's worth going for it! In the last several weeks, I have had a total whirlwind. It's been great - I have met a ton of great people - not just potential suitors. I've continued to put myself out there, and it's paying off....
Last week, I had a day of doubt, in which I didn't feel like getting on stage and performing, and I didn't feel like going on one of my scheduled dates. But, I pushed myself to do both, and guess what?! I felt great once I was on that stage, and I felt good during the date. I enjoyed myself, and the self-doubt faded away. I've noticed that fear can hold me back...but I try to walk into that fear, and when I do, I'm rewarded. Sometimes the initiation of an activity can be the most difficult part of the exercise (for example, going to the gym). But once I'm engaged in the process, I'm enjoying myself, and I'm feeling good.
Upon reflecting on Father's Day and dating some single fathers lately, I'm realizing that fathers make good mates....they are thoughtful, considerate and sensitive. For all of you single fathers out there, I'm in your corner! I used to think that I'd marry someone without children - so that we could start a family together. But I'm realizing that the connection and love are most important. After all, a loving father is capable of a secure relationship - he could be great to me as a spouse. It's a risk to start a family with someone who already has children, but the reward could be great....
I'm feeling good today - had a great weekend with my dad and little brother. David (my date) spent some time with the family, too. He was sweet with my little brother, which scored him points. I have a date later today with a relatively new guy....so we shall see. So far, so good...!
Last week, I had a day of doubt, in which I didn't feel like getting on stage and performing, and I didn't feel like going on one of my scheduled dates. But, I pushed myself to do both, and guess what?! I felt great once I was on that stage, and I felt good during the date. I enjoyed myself, and the self-doubt faded away. I've noticed that fear can hold me back...but I try to walk into that fear, and when I do, I'm rewarded. Sometimes the initiation of an activity can be the most difficult part of the exercise (for example, going to the gym). But once I'm engaged in the process, I'm enjoying myself, and I'm feeling good.
Upon reflecting on Father's Day and dating some single fathers lately, I'm realizing that fathers make good mates....they are thoughtful, considerate and sensitive. For all of you single fathers out there, I'm in your corner! I used to think that I'd marry someone without children - so that we could start a family together. But I'm realizing that the connection and love are most important. After all, a loving father is capable of a secure relationship - he could be great to me as a spouse. It's a risk to start a family with someone who already has children, but the reward could be great....
I'm feeling good today - had a great weekend with my dad and little brother. David (my date) spent some time with the family, too. He was sweet with my little brother, which scored him points. I have a date later today with a relatively new guy....so we shall see. So far, so good...!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)