Thursday, December 9, 2010

My thoughts on love and marriage

Recently, I answered some interview questions that were posed to me by a college student, and I thought I'd share the results...

Have you always wanted to get married? Would you say that all little girls do?  When I was little, I figured I'd get married.  When I was in college, I thought I'd be married by the time I turned 25.  My parents divorced when I was in my early twenties, and I started to fear marriage and divorce.  Upon turning 35, I figured the risk was worth the reward in marriage, so I felt ready - ready to find a soul mate and start a family.

What was your first understanding of love and marriage?  Mom and Dad in love with each other - raising children and a family.

How was your family life growing up; what were the dynamics of your relationship with your Mother, Father, Siblings, etc?  I was an only child for 27 years.  I have a half-brother who just turned 9.  I grew up with my parents as my best friends.  To this day, they still are my best friends.

Do you feel that you are marketing yourself, your charms, your personality?  I do...

Would you say that anyone on facebook or twitter, those who blog, are all marketing themselves in one way or another?  Absolutely.  The tools allow individuals to create their own brands - the brand called YOU.

What would your response be to a person who believed you were using marriage as commodity?  I suppose it is a commodity on some level - with all the goods and services that are exchanged for money.  But I'm willing to donate my sponsored wedding to a deserving couple if I do not find love in time for the wedding date...thus, I'm looking for love - the real deal - and it's not about the $$$ involved in a wedding or marriage.  I just want to make it legal, binding and lasting when I find it.

Do you believe that all people do (use marriage as a commodity)?  At some level, marriage becomes commercialized - like Christmas.  But it's important to keep in mind the true meaning and purpose - love, comfort, joy...

Where would you say that your desire to get married comes from?  A desire to love and be loved, to start a family and foundation for raising children.

On top of that, where would you say that your desire to wear make up, wear dresses, have an adorable little dog, and shop all come from?  My mom!  And girly magazines - and an innate desire to be loved and appreciated.

Do you believe that the differences between women and men are inherent or constructed?  Both.  Biological differences are undeniable - however, personalities vary within genders.  Some women like "guy" things like shooting guns or sports, and some guys like "girl" things - like fashion, shopping and design.  Clearly, the media likes to highlight the masculine nature of men and feminine nature of women, but I believe our social constructs are changing and people are allowed to be themselves today more than ever - whether they want to be girly girls or manly men or none of the above!

The last questions I can think to ask, is what is important to you?  In life - relationships + love, mental, physical, spiritual and emotional health are the most important elements.  I want to find someone who suits me and complements me - someone who shares my values and can be my partner for life.

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