Saturday, December 18, 2010

The truth

Hello Mr. Blog or Mrs. Blog - I'm not sure what your gender should be.  Maybe you're androgynous.  I’m listening to Scissor Sisters right now, so I’m feeling extra inspired.  I’ve completed week one of my diet and power yoga journey (thank you, Jenny Craig and YogaSport Dallas).  No thank you to dating and stress for adding an extra thirteen pounds.  Not nice!  But thank you to me for re-gaining some control (except for last night at my friend’s birthday party, where I celebrated like it was my own birthday and/or 1999).  Sometimes – you play, you pay.  I paid this morning when I arrived at a dance class at Equinox.  However, the burlesque moves were good for my booty-shaking soul, and for my headache.  Actually, the yoga has loosened me up – I felt like I could handle the dance moves better than ever.  And, Vickie, who taught the burlesque class, promises I can become a dancer with her tutelage.  I’m 35, yet I feel like I’m just getting to know my body.  Yoga provides amazing awareness – I think that’s why I’ve run away from it in the past.  I couldn’t handle the truth!  The truth is that I’m weak, I’m always learning, I’m clumsy and awkward when I try the tree pose.  But, the good news is that my body is responsive, I am strong, I am powerful, and I can practice.  I love how yogis say that yoga is called a practice for a reason – it’s not called a perfect.  I love that attitude for yoga and for life.

The other good news is that I lost two pounds in a week.  Yay.  I’m more focused on myself than ever, which feels awesome.  Funny thing is I’ve met a lot of guys recently, and many of them have asked me out.  But, I’d rather go to power yoga, come home, eat a healthy meal, hang with my pup, Zoe, and get a good night’s rest.  I think I’m sort of sick of dating.  Ha!  I’m sure some of you are laughing.  You’re thinking – no kidding.  Yup, I said it – I’m over dating.  I’d rather hang in groups and let it click when it clicks.  Plus, I’m starting to think the cliché is true – love happens when you least expect it.  I’m done expecting it.  In fact, I don’t think I really want to get married in February.  I said that, too!  HA!  Look at all this awareness.  Yet, since I don’t really ‘want’ it (for real), and I’m not looking for it, this is the time when it’s most likely to happen.  How whack is that??  There’s still time in time for February 15th for some incredible man to sweep me off my feet.  But I don’t care whether it happens or not.  Because I’m good.  I’m good on my own.  I don’t need companionship.  I’d like it at some point.  All of this – Project Husband – came from a simple thought at my friend’s wedding.  If I planned a wedding in a year, I’d get married, too…or so I thought.  It never was about desperation.  It was about self-exploration – and boy, am I exploring!

Yes, I thought I’d probably be engaged by now.  But I’m not!  And it’s cool with me…

I had a fun chat this morning with a cute guy who lives in Houston.  But he doesn’t want to get married.  So it’s just fun.  And what’s wrong with fun?  I’d rather have fun with someone for the rest of my life and stay single than rush into something stupid and be miserable in order to be married.  Wow – it feels so good to be so honest with you Mr. Blog.  I love this honesty.  I think it’s the yoga talking!!!!!