Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Visit with Mom

My mom is in town from Florida, which is a lot of fun.  It makes me wish we lived closer to each other.  We had a cake tasting arranged at Delicious Cakes Friday afternoon.  Butch and Ruthie, the owners of the cake shop, hosted us for the session.  Butch sketched a beautiful wedding cake design while we talked and tried the amazing flavors.  Someone thought Butch was my husband, which was hilarious.  Maybe it's a good sign...Either way, the cake was YUMMY.  My mom loves loves loves cake, and I do, too!!  Who needs a groom to have cake?!?!

I am having a great time with my mom, and I am so happy she is visiting me.  There is nothing like time with family.  It is a miracle of life to feel unconditionally loved and accepted.  We had a great weekend - from the cake tasting to shopping at Frocks Boutique in Addison to dinner at Gloria's in Colleyville and then watching the Rangers game!!  I also took my mom by the wedding venue in Colleyville and to Premier Photography...Someone will be getting married there, and Premiere will be taking the pictures.  Time will tell what the outcome is!  111 days until the wedding.  And, I would be equally happy to donate the wedding to a deserving, loving couple.  Even if I'm not ready to be married, we'll have a celebration!

Saturday, I sang in a wedding in McKinney, and my mom was my date.  It was a beautiful ceremony, and I sang How Great Thou Art.  What a beautiful song.  I also sold merch for Cary Pierce at Deux Lounge for an SMU Class of '90 Reunion.  It was a cool space, and Cary sounded great.  His wife, Cara, was there to show her support.  Their relationship continues to inspire me!  It also was a lot of fun to witness the reunion - lots of fun group photos and visible trips down memory lane.  My mom and I sported Jackopierce shirts at the merch table and made some new friends.

Sunday, I took my mom to church with me, and the community at Legacy Presbyterian was loving and welcoming to her.  She had a great time.  I also taught music lessons over the weekend - from guitar to singing to songwriting.  I love teaching!  I also love my pink beginner guitar - it makes playing the guitar fun and PINK!

Yesterday, my mom and I had facials at Facelogic.  It had been four months since my last facial, and I could tell that I needed one.  My skin was a combination of dry and oily - nice!  My mom upgraded her facial with an enzyme peel, and her skin looks amazing today.  She always looks amazing though.  I think it's her Greek skin.  We agreed that the spa treatments were just what the doctor ordered.  The spa chairs were awesome, the massage was fantastic, and we felt like a million bucks after our treatments!

Last night, we saw Jason Derulo at the House of Blues, and it was a BLAST.  Jason has some amazing moves, and he's only 21.  My mom agreed that he is a hottie.  His backup dancers were incredible, as well.  They made me want to dance...so I did.  [But not on stage.]  It was a great girls' night - lots and lots of fun.  House of Blues is one of my most favorite venues ever.  It's pretty much the perfect size!  The sound and lights are excellent, and the talent that comes across that stage is wonderful to witness.  I hope to see more of Jason Derulo.  He has a bright future ahead of him.  Maybe he has a single older brother.  I'll have to investigate.

In summary, I had a blast with my mom.  I'm totally at ease with my journey in life and dating.  In fact, I'm dating less now than I was earlier this year.  And, it's really nice.  I'm taking more time for myself, and I'm trusting fate.  Time will tell...no one can rush love, no one can predict when it will happen.  Yet, as individuals, we can have faith, along with open and happy hearts.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Dating without drinking

It has been almost four weeks since I had my last alcoholic beverage.  This was a choice I made with the help of my relationship coach, Barbara.  Here are some of the results of dating without drinking:

- fewer drinks
- less money spent on alcohol
- fewer dates
- higher incidents of declined date offers (where I said "no")
- fewer late night text messages
- more sleep
- better skin
- less fun (at times)
- more time for reflection
- more relaxation
- less anxiety

I really am looking forward to having a drink on Monday - it will be my first drink in a month, and it will be delicious!  And, I will be a much cheaper date.  And, I have found some clarity.  I have realized that drinking while dating can create false connections, false hope and false happiness.  I believe a best first date is one that does not involve alcohol.  A couple needs to get to know each other in a sober situation before introducing alcohol.

During my hiatus from drinking, I realized that some of the guys I had been seeing were not that compelling to me - that the connections were not real.  I also realized that just about anyone can be fun after a few drinks...

Finally, I got to spend some time by myself - without so many dates - and I got to reduce some of the beer bloat I had been feeling!!

I won't give up on alcohol forever - it is a great social lubricant.  But it needs to be used with caution - especially during the beginning of a relationship - and in general when a connection can be compromised by too much alcohol.

Saying no to alcohol is a good exercise - try it....you'll see how much society relies on it for social interactions.  And, you'll see how much you don't really need it.  If you want to save money (and face), ask for a club soda when you're out - you'll feel great all night and even better in the morning.  And, most of the time, bartenders don't charge for it.  You'll have no beer goggles, and you'll cut down on the beer gut.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Set ups + eye rejuvenation date

Recently, I had another first date, and I was starting to think - being set up is not for me.  This guy was nice, intelligent, kind and sweet - but he seemed young.  The date, in general, also seemed destined to fail.  It was one where the waitress couldn't get anything right, the crowd at the restaurant was bizarre, the vibe just wasn't there.  I decided - I do not want to be set up anymore.  And then, what do you know?  I had someone suggest a guy to me just yesterday!  I saw his photos on Facebook, and I'm intrigued.  So, I decided to go for it.  PLUS, my friend said this new date is a great guy who would like to be in a committed relationship.  My friend also said he is solid, ambitious, considerate and fun.  Sounds good....he's a bit younger (why do I keep finding young guys)?....Incidentally, today I heard from a college friend who is in a relationship with a younger guy.  She said the age difference is 9 years, and she couldn't be happier.  Who knows, right?

I also received some advice from a knowledgeable man (his identity to be revealed later) that I need to be in a target-rich environment.  I love the terminology.  He got me thinking - alumni groups, charity events, professional networking groups, more groups in general.  I've said it before, but I feel I need to meet men in more group settings - with fewer one-on-one dating situations.

Recently, I took myself on a date to McKinney.  I had a fantastic date!!  I started with an eye rejuvenation treatment at Warthan Dermatology Center, which was amazing.  I admit that I receive Dysport treatments to treat and remove my crow's feet, and they work like magic!!  Maybe that's why I keep meeting younger guys :)  I had a great experience at the dermatology office.  The injections only take a few minutes, and then I received a spa eye treatment (with massage, gels and creams) that made me feel like a million bucks.  After the derm session, I headed to the Starbucks down the street.  It was the most adorable Starbucks I've ever seen - it looked like a stone cottage from the front.  I had a skinny latte and Rice Krispy treat (which was said to have 210 calories).  I sat outside and enjoyed the warm Texas fall weather.  I noticed an adorable older couple sitting near me.  They were looking at photos from a recent trip.  The husband was friendly, and he started talking to me.  I said I was on a date with myself.  He thought that was great.  When I explained my dating quest, the wife said she had heard about my project.  She also said that her daughter met a suitor on match.com and married him only a few months later.  Years later, the match.com couple still was together.  The lovely couple at Starbucks told me - don't give up hope, and choose to be with your best friend - that's what will make the relationship last.  Good advice!

Truly, I am looking for my best friend....someone who offers friendship, passion and commitment.  I'm still searching...

Monday, October 11, 2010

Sofa Date

Recently, I had the most amazing date.  It was with my sofa!  I cleaned up my DVR, caught up on guilty pleasure shows, wrote in my journal, played Words With Friends (lcube is my username), spent time with Zoe (my pup) and got to bed early.  It's funny because I had three offers to go out that evening, but I stuck with my original plans.  I had committed to my sofa, and I didn't want to disappoint myself.  Because ultimately, the date was with myself.  And, since I'm now in my third week (of four) of not drinking alcohol, I resisted the temptation to open a bottle of wine.  I truly didn't need it.

Interestingly, I have met a ton of happily married people lately!  How great is that?!  I view each of them as role models.  The interesting thing is that I've met all of them individually (outside their couples), and they all offer independence, strength, passion and compassion.  They speak lovingly of their mates and offer encouraging words to me.  Today, I worked with a local production team to shoot some footage for a national TV program, and all three individuals shared their married stories with me.  More than ever, I felt inspired to find love, as I sat among competent individuals who found their matches.

This morning and afternoon, we shot some footage at my wedding venue, Piazza in the Village, and I learned about a fun blog.  Michael Tamer, the owner of the venue, has created a blog from the perspective of the Father of the Bride:  piazzafatherofthebride.blogspot.com

Michael has ten rules for the wedding guest, and my favorite is - Rule Four:  If you have nothing nice to say; don’t say anything at all.  Incidentally, several of my contacts were interviewed on film today, and they all had encouraging words to offer!  It's as if they heard Michael's advice in advance.  Mainly, I think they believe in me, and they know I will make a sound decision about my soulmate and my project.  From my friend, Kathy, at Premiere Photography - to my bridesmaid, Cyndie - to Robin at the Piazza - to Heather at Brides by Demetrios - to Chris, my yoga date - to Marla at PeaPod Group - everyone was excited about and supportive of Project Husband.  Marla told me that she will plan my wedding no matter what, and she will plan a fabulous wedding if I decide to donate the ceremony, and she will continue to plan one for me regardless of the ultimate date.  It was incredible to receive such support.

And, I have to take a moment to express gratitude to all of my supporters - all of the folks at CW33 who believed in me from the start - and Anna, who created my webpage after I bought the projecthusband.com domain - and to the Ruthie and Naomi at The Dallas Bridal Shows for hooking me up!!!  All of the vendor support has been amazing, and I see such generosity in Dallas and beyond.

The producer of today's filming said she thinks I might meet my soulmate on my way to Los Angeles this weekend....as I travel to be in front of a live audience Monday....what if my soulmate is on the plane next to me?!  My coach, Barbara, thinks good things are around the corner, and she is proud of what I've accomplished.  I'm proud of what I've accomplished, and I'm excited about the future.  When I tried on a wedding gown again today at Brides by Demetrios, I felt hopeful.  I know I will walk down the aisle in a beautiful dress when the timing is right.  In the meantime, I'm enjoying the journey, and I plan on scheduling regular dates with my sofa.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Yoga date + love coach date

This past week, I had two first dates.  One was with Chris, the actor and waiter I met at Sambuca during another date a few weeks ago...Chris had been my waiter for the evening, and he was awesome!  He said he'd go on a date with me, so I took him up on the offer!  We had a rooftop yoga session with Shana Stein in Deep Ellum, followed by coffee at Mokah down the street, followed by live music at the House of Blues Foundation Room.  Chris just turned 27, and he is a great guy.  He's attractive, fun and photogenic.  He should be photogenic since he's an actor!  Actually, I believe he has a promising career.  I think we'll be seeing him on the big screen.

Chris was a perfect gentleman and date, and I'd recommend him to all the girls in the world.  I think I might need someone a little closer to my age, but emotional maturity goes a long way and is not necessarily measured by age.  Chris and I had a fun evening, so we'll see.  And, I am enjoying my hiatus from alcohol.  I'm feeling better, sleeping better and seeing things more clearly.  After all, anyone can be fun with a couple glasses of wine, right?  Chris was fun sans alcohol, and I loved the yoga.  We agreed that we both needed it.

The best part of the yoga date was lying on the roof, looking up at the crystal clear blue sky, with planes drifting by in the distance.  It felt surreal.  I can't remember the last time I relaxed and stared at the sky.  It made me realize that I need to relax more!  Shana is an awesome teacher.  She's one of two yoga instructors that I've truly loved.  She makes the practice approachable and fun.  Chris agreed that the yoga was excellent.

The following evening I had a dinner date with Alfonso, the Life Coach/Transformational Trainer/Speaker/Author.  His publicist reached out to me and planned the dinner date for us.  She also said he was 41, single and gorgeous...all true.  However, he was interested in coaching me, so we set up a coaching dinner date.  Some of Alfonso's advice did resonate with me.  He said that we have to let go or "surrender" to the possibilities of love.  He has some very conventional ways of looking at gender roles, which do not always work for me.  I did appreciate Alfonso's insight and willingness to share his experiences with me.  I believe he's been on a soul searching journey, just as I have been.

I believe now, more than ever, that the journey in life is to each his own.  What I believe as an individual will be true for me.  What you believe as an individual will be true for you.  My God may not be the same as your God, and that's okay.  I hope to find a partner who has faith and believes in himself - one who is complete and unique - one who embraces life as an individual yet sees the power in partnership.  I want someone who doesn't need me - but rather someone who wants me.

I believe I am beautiful just the way I am.  One thing Alfonso said definitely rings true for me - in dating, be yourself.  Don't try to be something you are not.  Thus, I am not trying to fit into a gender role.  I am fitting into the role of myself as a person.  Yes, I am a woman.  Yes, I want to be a mother.  Yes, I want to be a wife.  But I will continue to be the strong, independent, loving, giving, positive and fun person I've always been.  I will not compromise my identity to be married.  I will find someone who fits me just as I am.  I truly believe I will know my soulmate when I see him.

There is a chance that I spotted him last week.  But I am being a little careful.  I know I have a deadline, but I don't want to force this.  I think it will come together if it is meant to be.  I hope I see him again this week.  I am going to leave it to chance...

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Nashvegas - Part 2

The second half of my trip to Nashville was just as amazing as the first half was.  What an incredible city for networking, live music and fun!  As I am still in my drinking hiatus, I knew I was having fun when I felt giddy without alcohol...and think of the cash I saved by not drinking :)

Next Big Nashville was occurring while I was in town, and as a result, I got to see some amazing bands.  My favorite live show was by Yeasayer (love the name) at the Cannery Ballroom.  I felt like I was walking into a NYC club....great lights, sound and vibe.  I easily could live in Nashville at some point.

I timed my trip perfectly because the temperature dropped considerably after I left...Nashvegas was sad that I departed :)  I was sad to leave my friend Elizabeth, but I reflected on an incredible week - one filled with fun, new contacts and new friends.  I did not find love in Nashville, yet I did fall in love with Nashville.  I also love to travel.

It is good to be back in Dallas, however.  I've just started working with an amazing team at Dreamfly Productions - formalizing my role in artist management and marketing in Big D and beyond.  I'm excited to join forces with some big guns and continue to make my mark on this city.  Perhaps we can bring some of the Nashvegas spirit to Big D.  I do believe it's possible, and there is talent here!!!

I also finalized my new single, Is This the Life this week....it's a great song about finding yourself and your true passion.  Further, I have two first dates this week.  I'm still hopeful that my soulmate is out there...somewhere.  I'm finding that I'm more passionate than ever about my work in music, and perhaps that is leading me closer to myself and ultimately closer to my mate.

In the meantime, I'm not sweating it...in fact, I'm enjoying the ride!  It looks like I may make an appearance on Dr. Phil this month, I will be featured in National Enquirer next month, and I'm being filmed for German and European television at the end of this week....maybe my soulmate is in Germany!!!

Stay tuned...