Friday, June 25, 2010

3 dates yesterday

Yesterday, I broke a personal record - I had 3 dates in one day - lunch, drinks and dinner...

It was fun, and I'm exhausted today as a result!!

A friend in my building called me a "baller."  Another one said - she loves the fact that I'm dating so much - she said it's great to have a woman match some of the men she who date like crazy......ladies - try it!!  Someone told me today that she'd break into hives if she were in my shoes.  The thought of dating makes her skin crawl.  She also asked me - what if you do get married and then you're stuck with a guy you can't stand?!  Well, isn't that the risk anyone takes when getting married?  And, isn't the risk worth the reward?  I've lived alone my entire life - why shouldn't I experience companionship and love in my home?  The same woman who asked me this question admitted that the last man she lived with was a nightmare.  She has sworn off all men.  I have felt that way in the past - I would say things like, "Men are jerks." or "Men suck." or "I hate men."  But, you know what, I really hated myself!  It's not solely a man's fault that I've had a bad relationship.  It's not a man's fault that I've felt insecure.  It's my fault.  I let men treat me in a way that was less than desirable.  I didn't love myself enough to create boundaries and to allow men to treat me well.  And the men who treated me poorly didn't love themselves enough either.  It takes 2 to tango and 2 to make a thing go right and 2 to make it bad!

Today, I love myself.  I take care of myself.  I'm not perfect - sometimes I eat too much, sometimes I drink too much, sometimes I say a lot of bad words.  But, I am human!  And I know my limitations.  A wise man once said - all things in moderation, even moderation.  Thus, it can be appropriate to push limits, to cross boundaries and to have fun!

I have found that by loving myself and putting myself first, others show me more respect.  Something you may not know about me is that I recently lost a lot of weight.  Upon turning 35, I didn't want to feel fat anymore.  I had put on so much weight, that I didn't see how I was going to get out of it.  I had masked pain and misery (from a tragic accident in my family and job loss) with food and drink, and my body was showing it.  When I was turning 35, I thought, "I can't control the number of years in my age, but I can control the number on the scale."  I lost 50 pounds before I turned 35.  And I work hard each day to keep it off!

The change in the way I view myself has been immense - and the change in the way I allow others to treat me (especially men) has changed, as well.  I'm not saying that being thin is the end all be doesn't change the soul or character of a person.  But, it does feel better...!!!

In conclusion, there is no conclusion, really....but there is food for thought.  And, I try to think now more than I eat.  Food is fuel, but deep thoughts are like butter.  I encourage everyone to date!  Even if you're married, take your spouse on a date!!  Appreciate each other, love yourself and allow others to treat you the way you want to be treated.  Self-love goes a long way....and if your mind is in the gutter, you will see more than one meaning of self-love.


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