Yesterday, I broke a personal record - I had 3 dates in one day - lunch, drinks and dinner...
It was fun, and I'm exhausted today as a result!!
A friend in my building called me a "baller." Another one said - she loves the fact that I'm dating so much - she said it's great to have a woman match some of the men she knows.....men who date like crazy......ladies - try it!! Someone told me today that she'd break into hives if she were in my shoes. The thought of dating makes her skin crawl. She also asked me - what if you do get married and then you're stuck with a guy you can't stand?! Well, isn't that the risk anyone takes when getting married? And, isn't the risk worth the reward? I've lived alone my entire life - why shouldn't I experience companionship and love in my home? The same woman who asked me this question admitted that the last man she lived with was a nightmare. She has sworn off all men. I have felt that way in the past - I would say things like, "Men are jerks." or "Men suck." or "I hate men." But, you know what, I really hated myself! It's not solely a man's fault that I've had a bad relationship. It's not a man's fault that I've felt insecure. It's my fault. I let men treat me in a way that was less than desirable. I didn't love myself enough to create boundaries and to allow men to treat me well. And the men who treated me poorly didn't love themselves enough either. It takes 2 to tango and 2 to make a thing go right and 2 to make it bad!
Today, I love myself. I take care of myself. I'm not perfect - sometimes I eat too much, sometimes I drink too much, sometimes I say a lot of bad words. But, I am human! And I know my limitations. A wise man once said - all things in moderation, even moderation. Thus, it can be appropriate to push limits, to cross boundaries and to have fun!
I have found that by loving myself and putting myself first, others show me more respect. Something you may not know about me is that I recently lost a lot of weight. Upon turning 35, I didn't want to feel fat anymore. I had put on so much weight, that I didn't see how I was going to get out of it. I had masked pain and misery (from a tragic accident in my family and job loss) with food and drink, and my body was showing it. When I was turning 35, I thought, "I can't control the number of years in my age, but I can control the number on the scale." I lost 50 pounds before I turned 35. And I work hard each day to keep it off!
The change in the way I view myself has been immense - and the change in the way I allow others to treat me (especially men) has changed, as well. I'm not saying that being thin is the end all be all...it doesn't change the soul or character of a person. But, it does feel better...!!!
In conclusion, there is no conclusion, really....but there is food for thought. And, I try to think now more than I eat. Food is fuel, but deep thoughts are like butter. I encourage everyone to date! Even if you're married, take your spouse on a date!! Appreciate each other, love yourself and allow others to treat you the way you want to be treated. Self-love goes a long way....and if your mind is in the gutter, you will see more than one meaning of self-love.