I had a new experience this past week. I actually fell in and out of (the idea of) love with a particular person in under a week. I had known this guy for quite some time, and I had sudden feelings for him, which seemed to be reciprocated. I became excited about the possibility and the fact that I could really trust this person. I had my weekly conversation with my relationship coach, Barbara Kenyon, and she encouraged me to call him and talk.
When he and I connected on the phone during the day, he was a different person. He had been warm and flirtatious during the evening, but during the day, he was different. The phone call allowed me to see that it can be easy to put on a mask in the evening hours. In dating, it can be easy to be someone else. A wise person said that in the early stages of dating, it is as if you are dating that person's representative. Time uncovers the true person, as the mask is removed and the true face is revealed.
Luckily for me, I was able to catch the guy without his mask early into the situation. Thus, I could stop the obsessive love feelings that kept creeping into my head. You know how it is when you first click with someone - you want to doodle that person's name on your notepad. You want to hear his voice. You dream about kissing him...I am so glad I could stop thinking those things before I became too involved.
I do really like Miranda Cosgrove's hit song, Kissing You. That's how it should be - no doubt, no question - just faith and trust and positive feelings. Sign me up!
Recently, I received an email from an angry man who said I should have been married 10 years ago when men would have wanted to marry me. He implied that I missed my chance at marriage. He seems to think that 35 is over the hill. I know many women who have married in their thirties and beyond, and they continue to be happy. The best part about the angry emailer is that I found his blog, and he has written that women should not have the right to vote. Enough said.
What is it about love that makes it so complicated? Shouldn't it be simple? It used to be...Today, I have a simple desire - to be loved, to be married and to have a family of my own. I just need to find my partner in crime. Is that so wrong?!
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Ah, no it isn't and shouldn't be so difficult and wrong. Men are funny critters...the dirty little secret is that they want what we want: to be connected, loved, and appreciated. The cranky man who was locked into the past (the angry man in your post) isn't representative of what men at large want, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteKeep your mind and heart open and someone who is your equal is going to find his way there.
Love, the Eternal Optimist